23 Nov. 2010

this is the calm...

I am in a different time in my life at the moment.  A feeling I have not felt for some time, if ever.  I feel I am in a time of rest, a time of calm.  Nothing much is happening at the moment, and for once there is no dramas.  I praise God for the lack of stress, lack of drama, lack of rush.  I thank him for His Peace.
The last few years have been very turbulent.  I will not go into them now, but, that there has been depression and anxiety and fear.  The storm began to rage years ago.  But when I returned to God, just over 8 years ago, He gave me strength to get through it all.  In many ways, I have clung to Him as He has held on to me.  When my mind was in turmoil through the storms, I always have had the hope in my God, my Lord and Saviour Jesus!
I am content.
But I also recognise that I am at a turning point.  A new adventure is around the corner... over the bend, and into the new year.
But I feel also distant a little from the Lord, not that he has left me, it is just that we are not in conversation so much at the moment.  I feel a warning in that, a warning not to wander, and not to become complacent in this rest.
Oh I see Him everyday, and wonder at His greatness and awesomeness everyday.
But apart from praising Him for his blessings and His creation, I don't feel much more to talk about.
I am not in a desert, I am not in a storm, I am not in a valley and I am not on a mountain top.
I think I am just in a garden.  Sitting, resting, watching, listening, enjoying the peace.
Shalom

2 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. I absolutely love the way you ended this post:

    I am not in a desert, I am not in a storm, I am not in a valley and I am not on a mountain top.
    I think I am just in a garden. Sitting, resting, watching, listening, enjoying the peace.

    I'm in the middle of a storm right now. It's ongoing, but I am clinging fast to God. There have been times in my life like now when God is in every step and every voice, and there have been times when, as you describe, God is a little like wallpaper or a quiet house plant. But always, God is there. I think in times of peace, the best way to feel close to God is to sit and admire God, just like admiring a garden. There is a feeling of God sitting and looking back at us, and admiring His creations.

    So wonderful to find likeminded people of faith! :)

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  2. thankyou so much for sharing, I hope that you weather the storm you are experiencing well, and you come out stronger and closer to Jesus at the end.
    Remember what Jesus did when the storm was raging around him and the desciples - He rested, he slept.
    Rest in God, in the quiet confidence that He is with you, and that he will give you all the strength and wisdom you need when you ask of Him.
    Blessings Sister!

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